If there is one question that I get more than any other question, as a coach who specializes in working with women in midlife, it is “What the heck is going on with me?” This is the hallmark of what is called the midlife crisis. We just don’t feel “like ourselves” or we feel unexpected urges or maybe confusing feelings of boredom with what use to excite us. We begin to feel signs of aging, our bodies changing or the curious and often uncomfortable to downright horrific impact of menopause. Many of us feel driven to gain clarity about our life purpose. Everyone I talk to is relieved to hear that they are not alone!
This period of time is a normal phase of adult development that was labeled liminality by psychologist/philosopher Carl Jung. It comes from the Latin word limen, which is a doorway or threshold. It is a moment of transition. We are leaving one phase of our lives and entering another. In that “moment” we are neither who we were nor who we are to become. During this time in our lives, we feel out of sorts – like the “old” us is not quite right and who the “new” us that we might become, isn’t quite clear yet. It is a time that is characterized by a sense of looking for deeper meaning in our lives. Much like adolescence, we find that our interests and priorities are changing and we want to try out new things. Unlike, adolescence, however, our lives are more complicated. The good news is that along with those complications there is a whole lot of life experience, acquired knowledge and developed wisdom that can help to clarify our paths forward.
It certainly is a time when it feels like a whole lot of stuff is up for grabs. There is uncertainty and a questioning of previous assumptions. It is a time when we are often facing big life changes. There may be issues of health for oneself, our loved ones or our friends. If children have been a part of our lives, they may be growing more independent or have left home to move on with their own lives leaving time to ourselves that we now get to figure out what to do with. We may be wanting a career change, feeling a strong desire to do something completely new.
The good news is that this forced march into out own private “vision quest” does have a resolution. This is a time of great opportunity to get to know oneself in a deep way and choose a path forward that is immensely fulfilling and guided by a truly authentic understanding of what our values are and what we want in our lives.
While you are feeling the challenges of navigating this uncharted terrain of your life, you may wish to have some support, a guide, someone to help you clarify your priorities and create a plan for moving forward. I know the territory very well! Give me call.
